The DDD Chronicles Day 85: Blowin’ It Up!

While enjoying a nondescript afternoon at Chateau Draven, I begin to hear screaming coming from the bathroom, “DADDY! DADDY! COME IN HERE!” Expecting that DDD has somehow masterminded a tidal surge in need of immediate cleanup, I haul ass to

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 84: Butt Punch!

For those of you unfamiliar with blinding violence at the hands of a 3-year-old, allow me to elaborate. CFD and I were chillin’ on the floor in front of the fireplace this morning, when all of a sudden I catch

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 83: As Simple As It Gets!

“Daddy, I don’t get you.” “Well buddy that makes two of us!” My son the psychologist…

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 82: Curbside Beatdown!

While riding in the car with Tara and DDD, CFD started crying. Instantly annoyed, DDD offered a solution, “Momma, do we need to pull over so we can feed her and beat her?” I see pre-school has already taught him

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 81: Halloween Etiquette!

“Wow buddy, you have a lot of candy.” “Yeah Daddy, but none of it is for you! Is that okay with you?” “Um, I guess so.” “Oh, wait Daddy… you can have this.” [Cue: small sack of Cheese-It] Apparently, the

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 80: To Sissy with Love!

For some odd reason, CFD felt compelled to crawl into the bathroom and cheer-on DDD during his evening constitutional. Like any good brother, and before he fired off his flatulence salvo, he offered his own version of foreshadowing, “Coraline… this

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 79: Burp Theory

At approximately 5:45a.m. this morning, nature informed us that we weren’t going to go back to sleep; DDD was providing his best impression of a bulimic post-Thanksgiving feast. So, like any good father, I hauled-ass to the Quickie Mart and

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 78: Shit-Bug 101

“Daddy, how will I know when the flu-bug has left my tummy?” “Oh, you won’t feel them leave. They’re too tiny. You’ll just start feeling better.” [Insert pause; followed by a deep inhale] “You know something Daddy… I think the

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 77: Always A Technicality!

“Momma, can I watch a lil’ TV?” “We don’t have a lil’ TV, we have a big TV.” “Oh… can I watch a lil’ TV on the big TV?” Always an angle…

Posted in Uncategorized

The DDD Chronicles Day 76: Fart Etiquette

“Momma, does Uncle Rus fart in his jeans?” “I don’t know, let me ask him.” Uncle Rus’ response to DDD’s query: Nobody likes stinky jeans… I take them off before I fart!

Posted in Uncategorized